I have been a ceremonial undertaker for 20 years.
My ex husband Rupert and I set up The Green Funeral Company in 2000 and together we built a radical, cutting edge, undertaking business by accident. By that I mean we simply did what seemed obvious to us and most helpful to the families we worked with. Between us we did everything; all the undertaking and mortuary work and holding the funeral ceremony. We had no idea that this was radical and new. We called ourselves ceremonial undertakers.
We learned from each and every family we worked with, and brought something forward to help the next family.
We held funerals for homeless people and titled aristocracy and all people in between.
We visioned, helped set up and managed the Sharpham Meadow Natural Burial ground, a beautiful burial ground overlooking the S bend in the river Dart. It has a cob built ceremonial shelter and most importantly an ancestors fire pit. Each year we would hold an All Souls Eve ceremony. We'd invite all the families of people buried there, lay a candle on each grave, gather round a roaring fire and hold a ceremony. We would have a roll call and say the names of everyone buried on that hill and at a certain point everyone would be invited to put a pine cone in the flames and say something about anyone who had died. It was always a special magical night of community and mourning and making new connections.
I am neither Humanist nor religious, but like about 80% of us, lie somewhere between the two and I am completely comfortable holding both ceremonies. I have buried a vicar without a vicar and I have lowered the coffin of a man while an Anglican vicar said the commendation and a Buddhist monk chanted.
Like I said, there are no rules.
